Let’s talk mentoring
Following our first mentoring blog announcing the shesaid.so Amsterdam/ADE mini-mentoring programme inspired by she.grows London, we spoke to one mentor/mentee partnership who were kind enough to share their experiences with us! Mentor Tamar Tieleman (Marketeer at Melkweg) and Mentee Kaari Tõke (International Music Management student in Haarlem, The Netherlands) speak to us about what they learnt…
What were your main hopes and aims going in to the week?
KAARI: I saw the opportunity to take part in this project 4 hours before the deadline. When I saw who our potential mentors could be, I didn’t hesitate at all to apply. I was super happy to have been selected but also a bit scared, because I didn’t know what to expect. I quickly researched information about Tamar and the first picture I saw of her, I was at ease. Her smile and the way she presents herself is so awesome and inspiring, because she is not afraid to be herself. My main hope for the day was that I could ask about her past and how she started as a drama student to work in marketing. And also get to know her on a more personal level. I swear the first time she or I swore in front of each other all the walls came crumbling down.
TAMAR: I was really looking forward to seeing who I was combined with. Also, because today you learn to do a lot on your own in a really broad and quick way, I was very curious to learn how my mentee looked at her career path and how to approach it. And obviously I was looking forward to the breakfast, ‘cause hey: FOOD!
Which element or activity within the programme did you find most illuminating and why?
KAARI: I enjoyed the breakfast a lot because many questions and emotions came through my head. I wanted to know so much, which I did because she created an environment where I could ask anything. (Also the food of course.) The networking event was a success for me also because I got to meet many people who have worked or are working at my favourite festivals/parties.
TAMAR: I enjoyed meeting Kaari, and really wanted to set her up with some people as she is so driven and captivating. But the network event I took her to was very busy and I felt like she deserved more attention from me. Therefore I think our contact via text and meeting each other was best; we really had one on one time and I knew exactly who to let her get in contact with.
What is the most inspirational thing that you learnt about the other?
KAARI: I think the most important thing that I learned was that I’m on the right track. It is so uplifting to hear it from a person who has done all of it what I am at the moment. She was also the first person to acknowledge my interest in the event management what my future in Amsterdam could be. Also, like Tamar said, the women in this industry are helping each other to succeed and indeed I felt the same at the Networking event.
TAMAR: What I love about Kaari is her drive, her enthusiasm and humour. She came into the breakfast extremely well prepared and was really able to show herself with confidence. She reminded me of myself and how I used to be when I started out and she really reminded me to never lose that flame.
What did you learn that you didn’t expect or came as a surprise?
KAARI: I didn’t expect to get so close to her. I was so beyond happy how after half an hour of meeting each other she suggested someone I should meet and she delivered: she did not let me down! I had a meeting with Maarten, her husband in the ID&T offices in A’dam Tower. It was such an amazing meeting, I felt like I learned more from him in two hours that I have in two years in my studies. Also, I met Phil Horneman, the Wicked Jazz party owner and we are good friends now! So in conclusion, I am super happy and grateful that I had the chance to spend some time with Tamar.
TAMAR: I learned about some awesome playlist she made me! What a way to introduce yourself, I love it! I actually used it to show other people I introduced her to how authentic she is. It stuck by me and that’s what you want when you meet someone.
Kaari, as a mentee, what was the most useful piece of advice that you will take from the week?
KAARI: I got so much advice from her, regarding my next steps in becoming woman working in the music industry. She told me that it is important to show up to places and always be yourself because that’s the most important thing. She also told me to say yes to different offers or be open to them. All in all, me and Tamar will be in contact for sure so I can always ask her for advice if I need it.
And how can other mentees going in to a mentoring relationship get the most from the experience?
KAARI: Just please show up. No actually, I do think that young people find it easier to not show up or re-schedule. For example, I study International Music Management with 50 other students and only 5 took part in ADE. And also, for me, the most important thing is that the person that I meet remembers me 5 minutes after the meeting. For example, I didn’t know how my day with Tamar will go and what her music taste is but I made her a playlist that represents my personality, and she loved it thank god! So, make something or say something that your mentor can remember you by.
Tamar, as a mentor, what did you find most rewarding about mentoring?
TAMAR: Well, it’s just an honour that she read into my work as much, and I really love that now she has several meetings with awesome companies that would suit her personality well. I think that’s the biggest gift you can give and receive: To connect like-minded people to each other. Not just for Kaari, but also my friends who I know I’ve passed on a valuable possible employer. On both ends it saves so much time going through bad experiences. It’s very rewarding to be a link in that. Also: I know that if I ever need her help, she will be there too. And it’s a great way to look at your own career and goals again, rethink them, see if you still have your goals and story straight.
Have you previously had a mentor yourself and how did that impact your approach?
TAMAR: Not via a network, but throughout my career I’ve had the luck to have a few mentors that believed in me, and they made the difference in giving me chances when I didn’t have a big load of work experience yet. They have also handed me good advice that I still live by and we still keep in touch. We still help each other out when needed.
